The truth behind that bulls**t breakup excuse he gave you…

We’ve all been there, both as the receiver and as the giver, it’s ever so familiar nowadays, when the other person loses interest but instead of openly telling you that, they might choose to string you along, otherwise known as breadcrumbing or they might disappear into thin air, otherwise known as ghosting or they’ll tell you some bullshit story they invented in order to avoid telling you the truth. Why avoid telling the truth? For a few reasons, some include; it makes their balls sweaty, it makes them feel uncomfortable, they overestimate their significance in your life or they’ve already assumed your reaction.

My advice; stop worrying about why someone else lost interest in you, that’s not what you should be focusing on. First and foremost, did that person really add value to your life? If they were only there for a short time, chances are you didn’t get the chance to find out. So you don’t lose anything, you simply gain an opportunity to learn a little more about yourself and how you interact with people.

Your gut knows before anything else. Too many times I’ve been on the receiving end of what I perceived to be a crock of shit. Some guys have some cracking excuses already in the bank ready to toss out when necessary, hell, so do I. Don’t we all? Here’s how to decode these bull excusues. 

My take on what you’re listening to vs. what you should hear.

I just need to focus on work = you don’t interest me enough to continue this.

I’m tired of dating = l want to date, I just just don’t want to date you.

I need a break from sex = I want to have sex, just not with you.

I’m not looking for anything serious = I just want to bang a lot.

I don’t have enough time = I do have enough time, just not time I want to dedicate to this.

I’ve got no time = I’m already banging someone else

You’re too good for me = You’re not good enough for me.

I’m confused about my feelings = My feelings about not being into you are crystal clear, I just don’t have the balls to say so.

My friends don’t like you = I don’t like you.

We can just be friends = I’m not that into you but I want to keep you around just in case. 

I need some space = I want to do things that don’t involve you

I think we should see other people = I’m already banging someone else.

If a guy tells you he’s confused about his feelings, it’s complete crap. He’s not confused about how he feels, his feelings are completely clear. It’s just that he thinks it’s not in your favour so he thinks you don’t want to hear it. But that’s a ridiculous thought to have, you need to hear it. What’s the alternative? You end up dating someone who’s not into you, you’re just going to force something that isn’t able to happen naturally. Don’t fight the flow of things, life has a funny way of always working out. It’s just hard to see that at certain times, especially during break ups, these are the moments that test our vulnerabilites and inevitably these are the moments that teach us about who we are. During a breakup, in those moments of confusion and when you feel like the world around you has suddenly become a little turbulent, those are the moments we need to experience because they teach us about ourselves, they teach us who we are, what we want and in which direction we want to go and most imortantly about who we want to accompany us on our way there. 

Thing is, if you’re ever confused about his feelings for you then my advice is walk away. The guys who are into you are the ones f*****g your brains out. If they’re not, then they’re not interested any longer. It’s that simple, but we get too caught up in the «what if» or the «why» to see it clearly. It works both ways, if you’re into someone, you are naturally going to want to rip their clothes off at any chance you get. So if he’s choosing to sit down and have a conversation with you to explain how confused he is then you’re with the wrong guy, So stand your cute ass up and walk the hell away, you have nothing to gain there, trust me, there’s nothing else there that you want. Next, start exploring new people, You don’t need to waste time on the ones who have time to have these bullcrap conversations with you, they’re gonna make you play games to guess what they’re thinking, they already know, they just don’t want to say. The guys who are really into you are really obvious, they’re the ones giving you all the pleasure you desire, they’re the ones f*****g you not f*****g with you, they don’t have time to waste on little conversations designed to boost their egos. Their ego gets boosted by the gratification they feel from exploring you and right there is where it should become crystal clear to you who and who not to spend your time with. Walk away from the ones who aren’t into you, there’s not enough pleasure to be had there. The ones who are into you will spend time exploring you mentally, intellectually and sexually and they will, most naturally, spend their time being intrigued by you and your uniqueness. I know which I’d prefer. 

So my advice; save your little red panties for someone who’s actually interested in taking them off. After all, there’s plenty of others who are more than interested. So don’t waste time on thoughts about people who find the exit, no, focus instead on the ones walking through the door. However it ends, you go one way and he goes the other, unsure if you’ll ever see each other again, but unaffected either way. Appreciate the opportunity it gave you to get to know another person and appreciate that life is doing you a favour by eliminating people who have no interest in you or your little red panties. By letting go of one, you free up the chance of meeting more of them, more people who are not only into you but also interested in getting into you and your panties.