One thing I’ve learned is the importance of the people you surround yourself with and how important they are to how we see ourselves. The really good ones see you through eyes so bright that you feel like you can achieve anything, they encourage you in ways that make you believe all of your dreams are possible, they inspire you to find your passions and help you find those things that light a fire in you, yeah, those are the ones to surround yourself with. I have the absolute fortune of being surrounded by so many of those people. Inspiring, positive, motivating, intelligent, beautiful and supportive people every single day, at work, at home and in life.
That’s why it made me laugh when one of my exes suggested that I had been sitting at home wallowing in sadness over losing him. When, in fact, I had spent that time doing the most incredible thing. Learning more about myself, growing as a person, kicking ass at work, being a boss, being there for my friends, meeting people that excite me, letting new people explore me, exploring them, reconnecting with friends, making new ones, talking about life and love over a bottle of wine with my roommate, putting myself first, getting lost in my new favourite book, spending precious time with the people who inspire me daily and drinking copious amounts of good wine with good friends and most importantly and most beautifully of all; getting to know myself. Yes indeed my friend, wallowing I absolutely was.
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy my time with this person. Still doesn’t take away from the fact that after this person left, my life grew significantly brighter. Thus to say, this person was never supposed to be a permanent fixture. It sometimes doesn’t mean any more than that, some people are put into our paths to teach us. Sometimes the way they teach us is by leaving because sometimes that’s just how it’s supposed to go.
I think that if relationships weren’t to fail then we wouldn’t be able to learn who we are. We can’t only understand who we are during the good times. No, we need to know who we are completely, that means we need to see the ugly side too. How can I understand appreciation without first feeling unappreciated. How can I understand what to run away from without first experiencing some tragic Tinder dates. How can I decide what I need in order to feel heard without first being with someone who failed to hear me. How can I gain clarity without first learning how to navigate confusion. How can I appreciate pleasure without first experiencing a little pain.
We should indulge in these experiences, they’re the things that are shaping us into who we are. So do it, wallow in it, wallow in the beauty of f*cking up, in the beauty of getting it wrong and indulge in the beautiful things that person taught you instead of analyzing why they’re no longer beside you. Appreciate the anticipation they gave you by showing up in your life in the first place, then the excitement they gave you by being in it and then the clarity and understanding you gained by them leaving it. Thank them for leaving and thank them for leaving your world even brighter than when they found it.
The Dating Shit Show 
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