What is he thinking? Here’s why there’s no point guessing…

Trust your gut: Sometimes we reach a point where we start to sense something is not quite right, it’s a gut feeling or instinct we could say, that someone is starting to lose interest. Unfortunately at times we have to figure this out for ourselves instead of the other person telling us straight, nowadays we should be prepared that this answer may never come as that person may just disappear into thin air, otherwise known as Ghosting, if this happens don’t waste any time wondering why, just take the disappearance as the clearest answer you will ever get. Your gut is the one thing that always tells you the truth, without fail, thing is, we choose to ignore it when we don’t like what we hear, sometimes the optimism of a fresh, new relationship blinds us or sometimes our internal dialogue spends time going against what our instinct is telling us or sometimes because we have a hard time accepting or dealing with rejection and other times it’s simply that we are tired of failed relaionships and we want it to work out.

Be thankful: The whole idea behind getting to know someone is to see if this person fits into your world and if this person adds something valuable to your life. So why do we find it so hard to end this process honestly? Personally, I’d be more scared of not speaking up and ending up with someone who doesn’t add value to your life. When guys have asked me why I lost interest, I’ve been upfront and open, I’m not scared of their reaction in any way; why would I be? They don’t suit what I’m looking for so why would I want to keep them around? But for men to tell women that they have lost interest, it’s not always the case, before having that conversation, they will have assumed your reaction and it made their balls sweaty, so they disappear, without saying a word. My advice is don’t waste a second wondering why, he did you a favour, be grateful for his disappearance and be thankful for the freed up space.

Freeing up space: Don’t settle for anyone who has you guessing how they feel about you, don’t waste your thoughts on someone like this, your thoughts are too important to be misunderstood or worse, unheard. So don’t waste any time with people who don’t make the effort to hear you, they will never understand who you are or what values are most important to you, because they don’t care. Create your own world and fill it with things that make you passionate, be so enthralled with your own world that when someone disappears from your life you barely notice, especially if they didn’t spend much time there in the first place. Trust that these people are serving a purpose, they need to leave because they don’t fit into your world, either because you decided that they don’t or they did, they have to free up that seat for the ones who are walking through the door.

Think of it like this, you are putting on a show and you only have 20 seats available, wouldn’t you rather have those seats filled up with people who want to be there, with people who are excited to be there, people who are thankful and grateful to be there, people who can’t wait to see what you can achieve and who will support you in any way they can to help you get there and cheer you on every step of the way. Don’t waste your seats on people who don’t want to be there, who aren’t grateful to be there and especially the ones who don’t appreciate being there. The ones who love you and want to be there will feel priveliged to have the chance to be.

Don’t force it: Thing is, nowadays it’s extremely rare to ever get an honest answer from someone who’s ghosting or breadcrumbing you, they probably don’t feel like having an awkward conversation that will inevitably give them sweaty balls. Personally, I would love to hear why someone lost interest in me, but not because it has any effect on my life, purely out of curiosity. So, by all means don’t be afraid to ask for an answer, just prepare yourself for the fact that you may never get one. But also remember that the answer doesn’t matter, it only really has significance for the other person, nevertheless doesn’t stop curiosity from making us wonder. But there is nothing here that should cause you worry, that’s your ego talking. If someone doesn’t want what you have to offer, what are you gonna do? Force them to?

As the old saying goes, if you have to force it, it’s probably shit. Apply the same logic to fleeting relationships, trust that life is doing you a favour by eliminating the people who don’t belong there. You shouldn’t need to force a single relationship in your life. The beauty of relationships is the growth you experience and the pleasure that comes from sharing yourself with another person, don’t force any of that, forcing it takes away from it’s natural beauty. Let things happen naturally and go with the flow, not against it. It took me a long time to learn this, I’ve tried forcing relationships in the past, in the dumb blind hope that they would work out and I somehow believed I had any control over that. I was mistaken, we have no control over it, so all you need to do is let it happen. Let that guy walk out of your life without a sound, the only mistake you make here is thinking that you’ve lost something, you haven’t. You’ve gained space for what’s to come and you’ve freed up a spot in your life that is no longer being taken up by someone who isn’t interested in being there.

My advice; don’t waste a second with anyone who makes you guess what they’re thinking. Maybe they have no idea what they want or their balls are too sweaty to talk about it. Who cares? Let them leave and start exploring the beauty of the freed up space, fill it with things and people that excite you and indulge in the anticipation of not knowing what’s to come. Don’t waste time with guessing games, there’s no point. Trust me when I say, people that want to be in your world, will be. So we really have nothing to worry about, it’s simple; if that person isn’t finding a way into your world then let them find the exit and if they do, well then it’s simple, then there’s nothing left to guess.