Friends with benefits? What’s the real benefit?

Sexual compatibility: It’s always exciting to meet and explore new people, new people to be intimate with, to get naked with, to have hot and sweaty sex with and those ones that end up being very sexually compatible with you, with those ones you can get lost in a sex bubble that neither of you have any intentions of leaving. You both want to keep going until you just can’t go anymore. Open up to someone new, be naked, be stripped bare, explore your animal instincs and ignore every other instinct for a while. Only pay attention to the sexual energy that draws you to that person in that moment. Devour them, let them devour you, get lost in the moment, get lost in them, get lost in the pleasure, so much pleasure that it’s impossible for anything else to be on your mind in that moment. Allow yourself to let go completely and hold on only to what you’re feeling, let go completely of what you’re thinking.

When you find someone who is sexually compatible with you, the situation creates this kind of unspoken language, where you no longer need words to communicate because you have looks and touch to communicate what you want and what you’re feeling. These moments are never more exciting that when they happen with someone new, someone who’s views are completely new to you, who’s sexual desires intrigue you, someone who wants to do things to you that you’ve yet to find out.

Communication: Communicate exactly what you want in that moment, communicate what it is you want that will bring you the most pleasure, the best ones are the ones that already know how to make you squirm, without you having to communicate it. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case. You don’t have to communicate with words, just use your body to show that person how to connect with you sexually, how to use their body to bring pleasure to yours. Spend hours naked, barely able to keep your hands off each other.

And if it’s bad: If you have the misfortune of finding one who is terrible in bed, my advice is; don’t go back for seconds. Put it down to bad luck and move on. However, it should make you more selective in the future as to who you allow into your bed. Only allow the ones that are not only interested in your orgasm but the ones that want to give you multiple. If you aren’t having sex with any guys like this then you’re looking in the wrong places and you’re settling for less than you should. There are guys out there who not only want to f**k you, but they want to touch you all over, explore you completely and show you new ways of getting and giving pleasure. Sex should never be something you do just because. It’s an opportunity to tap in to our desires and explore the things that give us pleasure.

For me, for a guy to be considered good in bed, well it doesn’t always come down to experience, although you thought I was gonna say size. It’s not experience that counts the most, I find that it’s the sexual compatibility that makes it so good. When you find someone who has the exact same thoughts in their head as you; that they want to rip your clothes off and explore everything underneath. Sex isn’t only for the happy ending, it’s for exploring someone else’s body, allowing them to explore yours, letting them find the parts that when touched drive you crazy, get as hot and sweaty as possible. Explore sex, don’t just have it.

And if it’s good: Explore someone who can’t get enough of you, they’re the exciting ones, they’re the ones that give the most pleasure, not only want to receive it. Someone who has your clothes off within the first minute of walking through your front door, who has you up against the wall before you can even say hello, yeah, that’s the fun kind. The ones that can’t take their hands off you or out of you all night long. Ever wondered why the friends with benefits way of dating is more appealing? Well, because it’s way more exciting. Exploring new people always opens you up to the opportunity of trying new things, exploring pleasures and pushing your sexual limits.

I’m not taking away from the fact that sex when you’re in love isn’t an amazing experience, it absolutely is. But it is an optional ingredient. I find that excitement comes with new things, at least in my sex life, it involves exploring new people and allowing them to explore me. Find someone who can come over and give your hard day a really happy ending. You don’t need love to have incredible sex, nor do you need to have a steady partner. All you need is the desire to explore yourself and someone else sexually, explore the beauty of your sexuality, whatever your sexual preferences may be, explore the wonderfully instinctual strength that being in tune with your sexuality brings. Enjoy the power you have over what to do with your body and who you allow access to it. Find some friends with benefits, but find the really good ones, the ones that will spend the night benefiting you with orgasms.

Be selective: Just make sure you’re smart and selective about who you allow access to your bed. Date them a little first, get to know a little about them. Pay attention to the things he talks about, what his priorities are, these are all indicators as to what kind of guy he is. Be wary of the ones that are full of themselves and are still talking about themselves three glasses of wine into the date. Those ones tend to not only be selfish in life but also intolerably selfish in bed. The kind that have only one objective of being in your bed, to get themselves off, without caring if you do. Pay attention to how they talk about their loved ones, or if they talk about them at all. If they talk about them kindly, this will be an indicator as to how kind he might be towards you. Look out for respect, I mean how does he react to the things you say? How is he trying to show you who he is? Does he only listen for the sake of it or does he actually hear what you have to say? Is he interested in who you are? Also pay attention to his body language, does he look relaxed or tense? Does he seem intrigued or intimidated by your confidence? This tells you very quickly who you’re dealing with. If he’s intimidated, then he may attempt to say things to diminish what you’ve said or he may play a little hard to get in the blind hope that you’ll try a little harder to get him. If he isn’t intimidated by your confidence then I’m sure he will seem very relaxed, he gets a sense of who you are and instead of being intimidated by it, he ends up being a little intrigued. Confident women only scare the ones who are not meant for them, the ones that are discouraged by your confidence because they’re worried it may highlight a crack in theirs.

What’s the benefit? So start exploring the sexy benefits that meeting friends with benefits can bring. As I said, don’t go in blind. Get to know the guy who’s sitting in front of you before deciding if you want to allow him access to you or your bed. But also enjoy the mystery of not knowing them too well and spend time exploring their desires and allow them to fulfil yours for the night. Friends with benefits will only cause you problems or hurt if you aren’t using it right. Use it only for what it was designed for, which is the benefit and just in case I hadn’t already made it crystal clear, the benefit is the dirty, dirty sex.