I used to hate Tinder with a passion, hated the whole process until I realised the problem, that I didn’t know what I wanted. As soon as I figured that out, well the Tinder process became extremely orgasmic, it’s like an all you can eat buffet with never ending options . As I said, it’s important to figure out what you want first so you can adjust your expectations accordingly. I have accumulated so many Tinder experiences that it would be impossible to share them all, but I have a good idea of what could happen.
The disaster date: who hasn’t been there? This date can vary on the scale of disaster, sometimes it’s just a little painful and other times it’s get me the hell out of here. I’ve had various disasters, a guy that refused to give me oral, a guy that couldn’t perform, a guy that never asked me a single question about myself, a guy who bored me so much with his self absorption that I wanted to cut my ears off. Sometimes the date is so bad that there’s no chance it’s ending in the bedroom, if he takes no interest in who you are on the date, then trust me, he will take no interest in your orgasm either.
The connection: sometimes you end up on a date that takes you completely by surprise, sometimes you feel a connection from the first moment. These dates are full of curiosity, exploration and excitement. I recently had a sexy date with a fellow Aquarian, with whom I experienced exactly that, a connection from the first moment. It works especially well when you both have zero expectations, when you just see how things go and enjoy exploring each other’s minds, intelligence and bodies. Sometimes the connection is mostly sexual, sometimes your humour matches and sometimes you just understand each other very easily. Even more exciting when they’re only passing through your city for a night, makes conditions perfect for a dirty weekend away to visit theirs.
The orgasmic date: this is the best one you can hope for, I seem to find these on a regular basis. These dates normally happen with guys who you’ve already warmed up with, ones you’ve already shared some sexual desires with. There’s something about some connections you make, you don’t need to work hard at making the sex good, it just is, instinctively. These guys are the ones who take an interest in getting to know a little about who you are before ripping your clothes off. How can you tell if he’s going to give you orgasms? Pay attention to how he acts during the date, look for signs of respect, affection, understanding and pay close attention to his level of politeness. These are all key signs to look out for, trust the feeling you have from being around him, if it’s a good feeling then these are usually the ones that will take you to nights full of orgasms and dirty sex, respectfully, of course.
The pure lust date: this one is a particular favorite of mine. You don’t spend a great deal of time getting to know each other, sometimes it’s much sexier to go straight to what you both desire, to go straight to the bedroom without knowing much about each other. You show up at his place and your thong is on the floor before you’ve even said hello, you’re held up against the wall as he starts touching every inch of your body, and his tongue, well there isn’t an inch of your body it doesn’t reach. Before you know it, you’re tied to his bed completely at the mercy of his tongue and his ability and desire to pleasure you.
I hear complaints about online dating apps like Tinder or Bumble all the time, personally I don’t see what there is to complain about. Firstly, figure out what you want and then take advantage of the selection on offer, don’t have any expectations, just date, have insatiable sex and see what happens. When you stop looking, things come to you, open yourself up to dating and exploring new people, as long as you know what you want, it will lead you to where you want to go. In my case, it usually leads me to insatiable sex with sexy guys ready to devour me entirely, all night long.