Some people dating in their 30s are dating to find a partner, to get married, to buy a house and settle down, personally I date to see how many orgasms I can get. Aside from all of the insatiable sex, I’ve discovered that there are countless guys who absolutely adore pussy and who simply want to eat you out for hours on end. Then again I have been with some guys who literally have no idea what to do with the female anatomy, I was with a guy who rubbed my clitoris completely dry, I couldn’t masturbate for 2 days after, others who don’t pay attention to my non-verbal cues and some who are only interested in my vagina as a vessel for their dick.
What are the types? I’ve figured out that there are 3 different types of pussy eaters, or at least that’s what I’ve discovered. There’s the orgasmic dynamite pussy eater, then there’s the “I’ll do it if I have to” guy and then there’s the one who just refuses to go to the buffet. The dynamite ones, I can tell you, are the ones who just absolutely love pussy, they love everything about it and they never stop thinking about it. I understand this completely, I feel exactly the same way about dick, it takes up the majority of my daily thoughts, the constant stream of dick pics sent to my inbox may have something to do with that.
The one who refuses to go to the buffet: this has happened to me on a few occasions, sadly. There was the Argentinian who tied me up to his bed and then failed to get hard, so I figured it was the perfect opportunity for him to go to the buffet, he refused, if he wasn’t getting any pleasure, then neither was I. I had another who faked a phonecall to get out of eating me out, another who I’m sure was intentionally terrible at it, just so that I would put a stop to the atrocity to clitoral stimulation happening between my legs, refusal would have been more enjoyable.
The “I’ll do it if I have to” guy: Then there’s the “I’ll do it if I have to” guy, well, this one really depends what else he’s good at. If he’s dynamite at using his hands, has a dynamite penis, or gives you head to toe massages, well then maybe, even then, it’s extremely difficult to compensate for the lack of tongue action at the buffet. The sexiest part of oral sex is ultimately seeing how much the other person is enjoying giving you that pleasure, so when it seems like a burden, well then I lose my erection. Pussy isn’t a chore, it’s a delicacy to be devoured.
The dynamite pussy eater: Then there are some magical pussy eaters that deserve to eat you for hours on end and thankfully that’s usually exactly what they want. I’ve come across a lot of these, the kind that have your legs trembling from the moment their tongues enter the promise land. The filthy, silver fox Italian I’ve been screwing recently is a huge pussy fan, if he could subscribe, then he’d be a gold member. When he sees pussy, it’s like he’s mesmerized, he enjoys licking it, touching it, eating it and everything in between. He could play with pussy for hours on end and I’m happy to let him. Another dynamite pussy eater I met recently has the ability to make me orgasm almost instantly, he provides me with some of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, he’s the kind that enjoys playing with you, teasing you, getting you to the point of climax and then stops, just to fuck with you. Thing is, you can’t complain, because as it turns out, the orgasms become even more orgasmic. For most women, reaching orgasm through penetration alone can be difficult, so a guy who works magic with his tongue is not one to be kicked out of bed, he should always be welcomed in, with open legs.
Chemistry: also has an astounding effect on my ability to reach orgasm and on the amount I’m likely to have, his ability to stimulate me mentally ultimately affects his ability to stimulate me sexually. That and a hungry tongue, one that hasn’t eaten all day and is ravenous to have dinner between your legs. We can never really know which pussy eater we might end up with until we test it out, if you come across one that refuses to go to the buffet, then run home to your vibrator. If you come across the “I’ll do it if I have to” guy, well let him pleasure you in other ways, but it’s not worth a repeat. If you come across a dynamite pussy eater, then baby, that’s the golden ticket, let him eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner and enjoy the orgasms out of his desire to devour you entirely.